daily life right now

We have now been home seven months. Bobby is a blessing and we are so thankful for him but it has been a hard adjustment in many, many ways. Our whole family has been stretched to the breaking point at times. Dealing with Bobby has been much harder that I thought it would be most of the time. I see a wonderful adoption counselor and have learned tons. I didn't realize that kids who have been raised in an orphanage all have attachment disorder. I knew how Bobby acted, and thought it was just his personality, his adjustment to everything foreign, mine or Buddy's parenting, the list went on and on. However, I am relieved to learn that his behaviors are common to all children with attachment disorder. The things that have been the source of so much stress in our family, like his anger and yelling when told no or his "all out" fit pitching when he has to transition from one activity to another have a reason! I'm learning how to respond to build connection between us since that is what Bobby needs more that anything. Even though he doesn't understand that himself. He still doesn't play independently very often. Marianne (the counselor) said this is because he did not go through all the phases of development as an infant and toddler where he would have naturally learned independent play. She said in many ways I should think of him as a seven month old and that I wouldn't expect my seven month old to play independently. She told me that I need to give him a year of concentrated attachment building and to be patient and that it will get better. So, I have the task of educating my older children also. Since Bobby will take any attention they give him, he usually goes about getting it by being as annoying as possible to them. They get mad and push him away or leave which only makes things worse. Now, when he runs by and grabs something they have or jerks the Xbox wire out of the TV when Grayson is playing, they are to say, "Bobby, you can't do that, if you want me to play with you, then ask me and I will play with you later", then they have to give him a little bit of time when they get a chance. It works!! He responds so well to this. There is sooo much more I could share but just let me say, if you have adopted, please read The Connected Child by Karen Purvis. It has been my guidebook!

2010 reflection

As this year comes to a close I think back on the many, many changes our family has experienced. This time last year we had skyped with Bobby once (Christmas Day) and were filled with nervous anticipation as we waited for news of our court date so that we could travel to Uganda and meet Bobby in person.

We finally got that news and left March 31, we arrived in Uganda April 1 and after a five hour delay in getting to the orphanage we were able to hold and hug our little boy!!

We were in Uganda eight weeks while we waited on the paperwork process to continue so that we could get Bobby's visa to travel to the US. Africa was amazing. I can't even begin to describe the colors, smells, textures and beauty that are Uganda. Lush green tropical forests, trees brimming with avocados, mangos, jackfruit, bananas, matake (green banana that tastes like a potato), watermelon. The beautiful Lake Victoria which is the source of the Nile River and the source of much delicious Tilapia which made its way to our plates. The Ugandan people are very handsome and we met many very nice and friendly folks. Still, we missed our kids at home very much and often both Buddy and I were frustrated and discouraged at the slow pace of things. Just before we left to go to Uganda, that government and the United States government had run into some trouble with adoptions which had halted all adoption movement. We didn't know if we would be there 6 weeks or 6 months, and I'm not exaggerating. After one horribly frustrating few days with one Ugandan government office Buddy and I were at the end of our rope. I prayed, "God, I don't even know if this adoption is really what you want us to do, I'm so discouraged and want to be home for Austin's graduation in two weeks but it doesn't look possible. Please just somehow let me know that we are doing what you want us to do". The next day we got a phone call from a Ugandan friend of my aunt in Birmingham, Alabama. Her brother is a high court judge in Uganda and gave us a name to get in touch with at the passport office. Within a week we were flying home, visa in hand! God had heard my cry to Him and moved mountains when we had exhausted all our efforts. We were bumped from number 12 of 24 on the visa waiting list to number one! We were the first family in 2010 to received a visa for adoption!!!!!!

Lesson Learned

Last night we attended the Belmont women's basketball game with Buddy. Bobby entered the arena asking for something to eat so as soon as we sat down I got back up and purchased popcorn and a coke for him. He devoured the popcorn in the first half and then it was time for heavy horderves in the reception area. We ate those and brought a few snacks back to our seat. Bobby and I only stayed for the first game and on the way home he said he was hungry!! We got home and I warmed up an egg I had boiled earlier...in the microwave. I gave it to him and turned around and heard a loud "POP"! Turning back around, I saw Bobby COVERED in tiny bits of egg and crying! He said, "that egg just popped open!, I NEVER going to eat an egg again!" It was sad in a hilarious kind of way and I was the only one home to witness it! Moral of the story is: if you warm up a boiled egg, make sure you cut it in two first. Since boiled eggs are the only breakfast Bobby likes, I doubt if his resolve will last! BTW - Grayson (17 y.o.)can hardly wait till Austin gets home for Christmas break to pull this trick on him. I'll let you know.

Our Grinch inspired tree

With six people (five of them adult size) and a car loaded down with luggage, etc, we stopped on the way home from Thanksgiving and bought two Christmas trees at Lowe's. This was the only time everyone was available and all wanted to participate in the choosing of the trees. We put them up and decorated them the next day and Bobby loves them as well as the other decorations around the house.

5 months back!

So long since I've written anything in this blog. We've got back from Africa on May 23, 2010, about 5 1/2 months ago. So much has happened that I don't even know where to begin so I'll just start from today for the most part. First, however, I need to say that our getting out of Uganda in time for Austin's graduation on May 30 was a miracle (and I'm not exaggerating). We were the FIRST family in 2010 to leave Uganda with a visa for a child to be adopted in the United States. We were there a total of 8 weeks and after 7 weeks we still had no idea of a departure date. I'll go into the details at a later date but God brought us to the end of ourselves and completely opened the doors in a way that could only be Him.

Life is full and busy now with a 20 and 16 year old at home with Bobby and a freshman in college. I look forward to updating this regularly now!

hello

Things are going well for us as we try to pass the time waiting on a ruling from the judge. One family goes for their appt. tomorrow and we have ours Wednesday. Please pray that the judge will give the ruling on the same day as our appt. I'm told that this happens at times and if so, will shorten our stay by a week.

We are still enjoying getting to know Bobby. He is pretty strong willed alot of the time but we are used to this! He is also very sweet. His favorite story is "Goliath" and he asks for it every nap and bedtime. Pointing to Goliath one night he said, "this is daddy" and I told Buddy it has been a long time since one of our kids thought he was Goliath! Buddy told him to just wait until he sees 6'4" Austin.

Again, thanks for your prayers. We went to a local church yesterday for the third sunday in a row, went to the central market today where I ate a fried grasshopper and we bought some fresh produce. We've met many very nice people and still enjoy the beauty of nature here. We have a great view of Lake Victoria from our balcony. Still, we are sooo looking forward to getting back home to all the modern conveniences and our friends and family.

Thanks to everyone for the care your are showing to Austin and Grayson while we're away. I talk to them often and they feel very loved and cared for, they said they have lots of food which means alot to two teenage boys.
We are doing well, just counting down the days to our second court date which is Wednesday, April 21. If the judge is there that day, things should start moving along. We can't progress at all until this takes place. Last week we had to go to Kampala four days in a row and this is a trip of around 2 to 2 1/2 hours in the worst traffic I have ever seen or heard about. To get an idea of what Uganda is like - in a country of 36 million people, there is only one movie theater for the whole country. It is in a mall in Kampala and is not one of the multi-room kind like we have. In most ways being here is like stepping back in time 100 years. The roads are horrible with only half of the pavement still on the road, huge potholes everywhere. Last week after one doctor appt. we went to an "amusement" park called Didi's world. Hilarious! After going down a washed out dirt road we turned into a completely empty huge parking lot. Inside the park we were one of maybe 5 people. The few rides were broken down and at least 20 years old, however, Bobby was overwhelmed and spent 15 minutes staring at the big pirate ship ride that all parks have. We could have left after that and he would have been satisfied. I just kept thinking that he will have a seizure if we go to Disneyworld.
Bobby is now able to stay with us at night which is very good. As much as we miss our three in the states, I know this time is important for the three of us. Bobby is very sweet at times and pushes the boundries at other times, like any five year old. We had to put up his Leapster yesterday for the rest of the day when he would not obey after repeated attempts to get him to lie down for a nap. In response, he said that he was "going to get mom and dad's phones and chop them up with the machine (weed eater) and eat them." ! At bedtime, however, he was very sweet and then today's nap was much better. I know everything is new and confusing to him so we just try to be patient - although sometimes we have to try really hard. So far his world has been very small.
All the clothes we got at the shower fit him perfectly. He's been swimming several times already and loves it so the bathing suits have been very needed. I brought several books and toys which are well used.
I miss you all and can't wait to get Bobby home to meet everyone. We still feel priviledged to be able to be taking in this child and know God is the one who controls all our circumstances and timing and we cling to this.

This is a picture of the night we went to Bujagali Falls with Gwen Oatsvall, Katie Davis and her 14 girls. The night was beautiful and the girls brought drums and tamborines and sang and danced after dark. They were awesome. I'll never forget it. We ate rolex's, apples and water. A rolex is a flour tortilla and an egg rolled up in newspaper and they make and sell them on the street here.

monday evening

hello to all, we are well, had a good weekend. This was our second Sunday to attend a local church and we really like it. The pastor is Terry Nester and there are many people in attendance who are here working in various ministries. Bobby goes with us and seems to enjoy it, he prefers to sit with us rather than go to children's church which is fine with us!
Last night we went to Bugagali Falls, an area of the Nile River. We went with Katie Davis and her 14 daughters who brought a large drum, tamborine and another instrument. We ate a local food favorite and the girls sang and danced for us. It was awesome. The sky was lit with a million stars. What a great treat.
Today we went swimming at the Kingfisher Resort. It was an experience.
Our internet is out at the hotel and will be for a month. I'm at an internet cafe which is closing now. We'll be back tomorrow.

bobby update

This week has been very busy. Tomorrow will be our fourth day this week to travel to Kampala. Those four days included two court dates and three doctor visits. We were able to see the judge and had a hearing, now we return on April 21 for the ruling. Although we hoped it might be sooner, we really didn't expect it to be. Bobby has to have three consecutive days of testing to meet requirements for his visa.
We are doing fine, we love spending the days with Bobby. He is hilarious and loves putting on a show. He has a great laugh and all it takes is for Buddy to make a funny face and Bobby is in stitches. He loves Fanta orange "soda" and so far pretty much all food. Today he ate a piece of chicken with curry mayonnaise all over it then grimaced and spit out a piece of plain lettuce. He loves his leapster that several people went in together and got for him before we left. He calls it his "music" and has to have it for all our trips. The only things so far that are entertaining to him are electronic gadgets. Coloring books, drawing, reading, even balls only hold his interest for a short time. My ipod, however, he played with for an hour or so. He has a great accent and can understand Ugandan very well. The nurses at the clinic speak Ugandan to him and he nods and answers appropriately it seems. I am realizing that he probably doesn't understand as much of what we say to him as we think. He knows both languages but I think right now his primary is Ugandan. Buddy asked our driver today to tell him how to spell and pronounce several basic phrases and words so now I expect him to converse with the locals.
Pictures are still not uploading but I'll keep trying.
Thanks for your prayers, we miss everyone and it is very encouraging to know that we are being prayed for each day.

We are here!!

After a 30 hour plane trip we arrived in Uganda last night. Amazing!! Still hard to believe we are here. Our hotel is nice and everyone is friendly. Can't wait to post pics. Confused on the time, we got up at 5:00 am instead of 6:00 am, so have had plenty of time to get ready and repack our bags. Gwen and I have on matching long knit skirts, I think we blend right in with everyone else! Haha. Our hotel, the Boma, is nice. We just finished a buffet breakfast of fresh fruit, muffins, coffee, yogurt, scrambled eggs. Delicious!

We leave in a few minutes to head to Jinja, around 1 1/2 hours away. The rain has stopped so hopefully we won't have any trouble getting there. We will meet Bobby today!!! So hard to imagine.

The countdown has begun. Today I realized I only have 9 more days to work. NINE. Nine days to train someone to do my job, to say goodbye to all my co-workers who are now all my dear friends, and to tie up all the loose ends. Leaving is hard and I'm sad about this. Then I think about Bobby and getting him and having him here back with us and I'm so excited. So, it's bittersweet. When I started this job I had not worked for 15 years and entered with gratitude but also with some sadness for the loss of life as I had known it since our kids were born. It was a difficult adjustment emotionally for me and I was torn as to whether it was the right thing to do or not. Now, after almost six years of working full time and finally making the adjustment to a "new normal" it is time to do it again. I love the people I work with, they make my job not seem like a job at all but as a place to be together while we all do certain things to make the school run better. They are all so fun! So, I know to be patient with myself, grieve the losses, and look forward to all the blessings that I know will come with opening our hearts to this little one.

Today I received this message from a friend who is at Amani now, Emily. She said, "Hello!!! I just read bobby his book, and told him how wonderful his family is and they are coming to get him! He started crying, and I started crying. And he wants to see you "on the video". Oh, and Bobby says "I love you!"

I love you, Bobby!! Hold on, we'll be there soon. We got our plane tickets finalized tonight! We leave March 31 and arrive in Uganda on April 1, then to Jinja on April 2.

Yesterday I had to leave work mid-day to pick up a meal for someone I was "making" dinner for. Coming back I had the idea of sending Bobby some kind of calendar so that he can mark off the days to get a better idea of when we will be there. I know of a local lady going to Uganda next week who said she can deliver the items to Bobby. After talking to my sister, she had the idea of a paper chain. She teaches in a K-2 magnet school and is a good source for developmental appropriate ideas. So, today I am cutting strips of paper to send with a roll of tape so that Bobby and the Oatsvall's two children can count down the days till we arrive.

Yesterday we tried to Skype Bobby but did not make the connection. Today I received this message from Mary, the adoption coordinator who is in Uganda now. She said, A volunteer came to me today and told me this story,"auntie, I want to see my mom." "she isn't here yet bobby." "I want to see her on the computer". He is a smart little boy. When he saw me today we told him again, one month. he repeats back, one month. we know he understands you are coming.

This is so sweet. I know he doesn't have a concept of how long a month is but I think he is now hopeful because he knows there is a definite date. We will try again this weekend or next week to Skype and I will let you know how it goes.

THE call!!!

This morning at 5:15 the phone rang. With young adults in our family and one of them not living at home, this is always a little scary. Buddy was up as usual and answered. It was Mary from the Amani orphanage! WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!! Praise the Lord!!! The LONG awaited court date is April 6, the Tuesday after Easter. Another blessing is that my friend Gwen Oatsvall has the same date also!! A link to her blog is on the side.


After emailing with Gwen yesterday and both of us a little discouraged with the wait, I went to the Y and this is the scripture I received: "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
This comforted me yesterday because I felt like God was telling me to hold on, have faith and I would find Him faithful. Thank you, Father.

Now, 5 weeks to countdown and a LOT to do! I'm open to any advice anyone wants to give me about traveling to Uganda.

I had to put this picture on the blog. This is Cleo, our very smelly outside only dog. Yesterday the high temp. was 27 degrees so I decided to put Cleo in the garage. When I got her in, I thought she might like to stay in our mudroom so I blocked off access to other rooms (I thought). Later, I checked on her and this is what I found. Not only is she lying on a couch pillow, but she is in front of the heater! Hilarious.

Here is Austin and his sweet girlfriend Lia after they ate out Valentine's day. Austin gave her a box of chocolates, roses, Nerd candies, and two tickets to see Eric Church and the Wildhorse Saloon. No comment on his face.

This is a picture of two college acceptances that Austin (age 18 and a senior)recently received. As of now, he plans to go to Tennessee instead of my alma mater - ALABAMA! No, I'm not bitter...
Anyway, he is getting excited and has several friends and a girl friend who will also be going there. We are excited for him even though it was tough at Christmas to purchase a Tennessee sweatshirt!

Valentines Day this year was bittersweet. Buddy was very thoughtful and kind and made sure the day was special for me. We ate out on Saturday night and then I woke up Sunday morning to breakfast in bed. French toast, strawberries, whipped cream, powdered sugar and coffee. Not a bad way to start the day. After church we took the boys out to eat with a gift card from our sweet neighbors who sent it as a way to thank Buddy for shoveling their driveway after the recent snow. Last night Buddy fixed a supper of thick pork chops with apples and carmelized onions. His desert was chocolate cake in ramekins. Spencer was here to help him. As much as anything, I was touched by the sacrifice and care Buddy took to make the night special for me. Thank you Buddy, you continue to be my hero, friend and true love.

The weekend was bittersweet because on Friday one of our friends died tragically and unexpectantly. He has two daughters, both in high school, one a senior and one a freshman. His wife is a friend and works at school. On Saturday their house was filled with teenagers and adults who came to show their concern and love. This friend died on the day another CPA dad, Bob Patton, was buried. Bob leaves a freshman daughter and a college freshman son.

Father, I pray that you cause these families who are left behind to seek you for comfort and peace. To feel your loving arms holding them. To know that you love them and to be able to trust that you are good. In your timing speak Romans 8:28 to their hearts - And we know that in all things you work for the good of those who love you and are called according to your purpose. Give them comfort by knowing that because these men knew You, Jesus, that they have not died but have only left from our sight. Nothing touches the life of a believer without first being filtered through your hands, and you say "are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Your will is perfect, your timing is perfect and you are perfect love, help us to gain the peace you promise from knowing and trusting that. Amen.

This morning as I started to pray I looked out the window at the snow and thought of some lines from an old hymn,
"whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow, wash me and I will be whiter than snow."
I prayed for God to purify my heart like the snow. Later, as I was reading scripture, I turned to Isaiah chapter 1. Here God is speaking to his people and says in vs. 11 "I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals, Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. Your New Moon festivals and your appointed feasts my soul hates. They have become a burden to me;I am weary of bearing them. Then in verse 16 he says: "wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing what is wrong. Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

vs. 18 Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD.
'Though your sins be like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land.'

I had NO IDEA where the lines of that hymn had come from or the context of their use. God is saying that he wants our hearts. He doesn't want our sacrifices (for us this may be our money, time, or service). He is not interested in these things if we don't give him our heart. Otherwise it is all a show or a way to manipulate God into favoring or loving us. And what really blows my mind is that He says evidence that we have given him our hearts is that we will "seek justice, encourage the oppressed, defend the cause of the fatherless and plead the case of the widow." However, even doing these things to try to win God's love without giving him our heart does not please God. He wants our will surrendered to His, He wants us to desire Him above all else. Our hearts are thus transformed. When that happens, our love for God will flow out and manifest itself in loving others. The things that God has compassion for will become the things we have compassion for. My sin that was like scarlet is now as white as snow because on the cross Jesus became scarlet for me. Thank you, Jesus.

snow pics

Today was the second day of our HUGE snow. We rode our sleds down our very steep driveway today until the walk back got to be too much (after 4 times, maybe). Yesterday, Buddy, Austin and I walked around our neighborhood on Friday as it was snowing and beginning to sleet. We were outside around two hours and it was so pretty. This snow plus the biggest full moon for all of 2010 has made two very, very pretty nights. It is impossible to capture that beauty with our regular cameras. Tonight Buddy and I ventured out in the car to go to Green Hills which is only a few miles away and the roads were still bad. We just got word that we won't have Sunday School in the morning which is good because we would have to slip and slide down to the bottom of our driveway in our "Sunday Clothes" anyway.

A voice from Haiti

The following is a message from a young woman who graduated from CPA (the school my kids attend and where I work)in 1998. The orphanage where she has worked for 7 years is just outside Port-Au-Prince, Haiti. Please link to the orphanage at www.danitaschildren.org

from: Karris Hudson
Date: Tue, Jan 26, 2010 at 1:36 PM
Subject: Quick update

Hello everyone,

Things have been incredibly busy here, so I wanted to send this to you all and you can forward it to as many people as you can. I am sure I have several more CPA faculty and connections on my email list, but I am short on time now...off to buy mosquito nets and prepare for the 20 + kids that will arrive tonight by bus from Port-Au-Prince! This is just the beginning!

I am not sure what to even say, except Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. My eyes well up with tears when I think of the blessing CPA has been in my life. Looking back to when I first arrived there and to where God has led me makes me so much more in love with Him. Words cannot describe the appreciation I have for those that have helped raise money and awareness for Danita's Children, from kindergarten to 12th grade. I get touched by a lot of things in life, but one of the things that blesses my heart more than anything is seeing young people care for the poor and suffering. I know all of you do this, but I encourage you, the teachers, the staff, the parents, to continue to open the eyes of the children, from elementary to high school, to the suffering of others and the INCREDIBLE privilege of playing a part in relieving the suffering...whether in Haiti or in Nashville. I had parents who taught me this. I had teachers that taught me this. I had a high school that taught me this. I had a headmaster that taught me this. I am forever grateful.

Most of you know that I loved my life before the earthquake hit and I love it even more now. I am heartbroken by the stories, but am overjoyed that I get to play a part in being the extended hands of God. If there was one thing I could beg the students to do would be to stay close to God, obey Him when it hurts and when it is not the popular thing to do, and He will reward you in ways that money could never ever buy.

I have been living in Haiti and been with Danita's Children for almost 8 years and have seen the hand of God when it comes to providing for His children, especially the orphans. I have seen it continuously. Last year, we needed more bunk beds and mattresses and CPA raised money to help us buy most of them! Right after the earthquake hit, the favor of God has been incredible. He has put Haiti on the hearts of people, especially our ministry. A country that was forgotten by many. A country that most people thought was near Africa. Now, the world is watching and I hope and pray they continue to do so.

Some people follow me through Facebook and my blog (which I will update one of these days!), but I wanted to give you an update to pass on to everyone if possible. I will try to make this story short! Yesterday, Danita asked me to call a missionary flight service to see if they could help us transport 2 children and 1 teenager from Port-Au-Prince to Ouanaminthe. We have an airstrip in our town and the flight service usually flies there. We have worked with them in the past. To make a long story short, a few hours later, myself along with some of our team members and missionaries were at the airstrip, clearing the property of kids and goats and horses, so that the plane could land. It is a pretty big deal in our town when a plane flies in, considering that there is no running water, sewage system, or electricity. There were hundreds of people there...watching. The plane landed and three of our newest children came out. One girl is 13 years old. She just had her arm amputated and she has a broken leg. Both of her parents died in the earthquake. Yet, she was carried off of the plane smiling. She radiated the presence of God...simply beautiful. The other boy is a teenager and he has no one as of right now. He had his leg amputated and eventually wants to return to Port-Au-Prince, but needed someone to take care of him for a while. The other boy is about 5 years old and his femur snapped in half and he just had surgery to correct it. He was sitting alone in a hospital for 10 days before our team found him. To say the least, yesterday was a memorable day. Thanks to all of you for bringing them "home."

We are preparing to receive more children tonight. They were living in an orphanage that completely collapsed.

Thank you once again and please give everyone my love and my thanks.

On behalf of Danita's Children and Haiti,

Karris Hudson

CPA graduate 1998

OK, we've been waiting on this date for over a month and a half. Today is the day that the Ugandan judges are back on the bench. They've been on break since early December. Please pray that we are assigned a court date soon! We are "sitting on ready"!

to protect the safety

To protect the privacy and the safety of the children at the Amani Baby Cottage, we were asked to make some changes in the privacy settings of our blogs so that they are not accessible to the public. I will be "inviting" viewers to this blog which might take a little while because I have to look up all the email addresses. Thanks!

Read today in My Utmost for His Highest this: "In sanctification, the one who has been born again deliberately gives up his right to himself to Jesus Christ, and identifies himself entirely with God's ministry to others."

Today on facebook, Katie Davis wrote:
my mind is racing today. i do not understand how so many people can proclaim Jesus with their lips and not serve him with their lives. i do not understand how someone can look into the eyes and bandage the wounds of the poorest of the poor, God's heart, and then live their lives unchanged. We wait and wait for God to m......ove, but what if He is waiting on us to take the first step.
Katie is the young woman (20) from Nashville who now lives and serves a group of people who are considered to be of the lowest status in Uganda. She is the foster mom to 13 of the most beautiful girls. Link to kissesfromkatie here

I'm re-reading some sermon notes from Genesis 18, the story where the Lord (manifested as three men) visits Abraham and Sarah at Abraham's tent in the heat of the day. Abraham, who is at least 99 years old, immediately hops up and begs the men to stay so that he can serve them. He calls himself their servant and brings them water, gets Sarah to make "company" bread and runs to his herd and finds a choice, tender calf to prepare for them. He lays out a feast. Not an easy task at that time in the history of the world. Abraham served God immediately and generously and it costs him something. King David said "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God that which costs me nothing." 2 Samuel24:24
David knew God, God called him a "man after my own heart." Both Abraham and David had experienced God's forgiveness and His love and He changed them from the inside out. So much so that they poured out themselves for others. Willingly and gladly. Countless examples abound of this in the Bible and in our lives here right now in 2010. I want to approach God with open hands and a heart that can willingly sacrifice myself for others. Help me Lord.

In the post I wrote a few days ago about worrying and my relationship with Christ I mentioned that if I'm not careful and prayerful, my mind makes a huge leap from a little worry to the worst possible senario. The cost of our adoption is low especially compared to adoption from most other countries and even the US. I know the Amani orphanage has worked hard to make sure the total adoption expenses stay as low as possible and I am very, very appreciative. I also know this isn't the case in most countries and it is such a shame. However, many organizations offer financial help and God will provide you with resources if that is the desire of your heart. I want to be honest about my relationship with Christ and how it is a real living thing and how God keeps telling me to stop listening to myself and to listen to Him. He has entrusted us with this precious child and He is up to the task of equipping and providing us with what we need. He is El Shaddai (All Sufficient). But know you can rest assured if you are in the process of stepping out in faith in some area of your life, fear and doubt are bound to come your way and I want to be an encouragement to you by being honest in my journey.

I read this today:

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong, (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NKJV).

The words of 19th century author Hannah Whitall Smith sum it up well: “If God is what He would seem to be from his revealings; if He is indeed the “God of all comfort” (2 Cor.1:3); if He is our Shepherd; If He is really and truly our Father; if, in short, all the many aspects He has told us of His character and His ways are actually true, then we must come to the positive conviction that He is, in himself alone, enough for all our needs and that we may safely rest in Him absolutely and forever.”

All-Sufficient God, truly You are all that I need for every need. Let me rest each day in that knowledge.

this from: ccesonline.com

The first snow of the year came yesterday. School (therefore work) was closed so we were all happy about having a day off and because the roads are so slick, we got today off as well! Grayson doesn't look too happy and Austin looks...well...but Lia looks really cute. I had to get out and run an errand and the roads were terrible but it was fun seeing the city after a snow.

This is a picture from yesterday evening when we had two very sweet girls visit us. Grace Hartman and Emily Worrell who had both volunteered at Amani drove six hours just to visit us and the other families around Nashville who have adopted or are waiting on children from the Amani orphanage. Emily has volunteered for three straight summers and Grace was there this previous summer. Both knew Bobby very well and told me all about him. As an added bonus, they gave me a picture they made for his room and two discs, one with tons of great pictures and the other was the sweetest video with music and short video clips of Bobby laughing and talking. Priceless!! I am just overwhelmed at the unselfishness of these girls. Emily plans to return to Uganda in March to begin the planning for a home there for orphans with special needs. Their sweet spirit and genuine love for these kids is very humbling and unique and I and my family are blessed to know Emily and Grace. They will definitely have to return once Bobby is here!

Tomorrow morning I am back to my usual schedule after this Christmas break. I've loved having two weeks off, we traveled less this year than ever with Buddy trying to save his days off for our trip to Uganda. Because of that, we didn't make the usual trip after Christmas to Montgomery to visit the Hannah clan. We had seen everyone Thanksgiving and that made not going a little easier but we stilled missed visiting with all Buddy's brothers and their families.

You know, Christianity truly is a relationship. A relationship with God through Christ. I was reminded of this again this past week two different times. To be honest, sometimes I lie awake at night and worry. I don't worry about Bobby but often I worry about finances (adoption, two children in college in the fall, me not working) and other things. Anyway, instead of taking my thoughts captive, they take me captive, make a huge jump and doubts begin to pile up. Well, after one of those nights, the next morning I spent some time talking to Jesus about it and then left for the Y. After exercising and on my way out I picked up a scripture slip. You know what Jesus told me - "The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1 Of course I know that! It still amazes me that God listens!

Later that week, again at the Y (the only two days I went this week), as Buddy and I were leaving, we ran into a friend who is adopting two little boys from the Amani orphanage. We discussed this and how we are trying to be patient with the wait and how we know God is in control of the timing. When I got to the car I read the scripture slip I picked up this time which read, " Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore." Isaiah 54:4 In scripture, God links widows and orphans very often. I feel like God is telling us, "I am in this, I chose this for you and gave you this desire, stop worrying and trust me and I will make this a great thing."

Thanks for reading this long post, pray for our family, we have a lot going on and as parents, Buddy and I need to only stay focused on desiring God. Desiring God alone and longing after Him. That is my prayer for now and this year. Everything else - worry, fear, insecurity, false gods - fall away when I do this. I know that even the desire to desire God is a gift from God and I am grateful. Again, thanks.

On Christmas morning, we received the best present ever, we Skyped with Bobby through a volunteer at Amani Baby Cottage! We held off opening presents until we could talk with Bobby which happened around 9:30 a.m. Central time, 5:30 p.m. Ugandan time. I think Bobby was a little overwhelmed at the concept of talking with us in real time. We didn't care, we so enjoyed seeing him and introducing ourselves to him. I have tried two times to upload this video but I think the file is too large so I just put a few pictures of us waiting for the Skype session to begin.