Wednesday, March 16, 2011
9 More Minutes That Could Change Your Child's Life (Yours too) Part 2
The man in this video is B. Bryan Post, LCSW, who has written several books for parents of adopted or foster children. The adoption counselor I see recommended one last week and I finished it in two days. I loved it. He and his co-author, Heather Forbes, LCSW, gave me a breath of fresh air and much insight into the reasons behind an adopted child's negative behavior. The name of the book is Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control. By finding a way to move beyond a child's negative behavior to the deeper (heart) issue, our children can truly feel loved and KNOWN. Our home can be a place of peace. This is a powerful and important book.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A Call to Connect
Click the link below:
Empowered to Connect Conference will be in Nashville!
I just received an email with the information about this conference. I attended last year and it was great. I know I sound like a broken record about the book by Karen Purvis, The Connected Child, but it has been such an asset to me in understanding the reasons behind behaviors of Bobby's. Dr. Purvis' organization is putting on this conference and Show Hope is sponsoring it here in Nashville. Please check out the info, it is well worth your time.
Adopting an "older" child (non-infant) carries much stress and rewards are often delayed. Last week I heard about a Christian family in Ohio who adopted a 12 year old girl from China, had her for 6 months and said it wasn't working and placed her in the foster care system. She has been in foster care for 7 months now and an incredible friend of my sister has agreed to add this child to her family which consists of seven adopted girls ages 7 to 15! This family has a very limited income but a huge heart for hurting children.
It is such a tragedy when something like this happens to an adopted child. Thankfully, it is not common but it is devastating to a child and family when it does happen. I think more often, families just struggle silently. As I have been honest about our adjustment struggles, I've realized that this is the norm. And of course! Why should we expect a child who has grown up with multiple caregivers, inconsistent discipline and often abuse to not have struggles? When we agree to adopt we agree to learn our child's history so that we can go beyond surface behaviors. We agree to sacrifice our own convenience, expectations and desires in order to connect with our child and help them heal even if it takes years, not months.
Resources are available through counselors (ask me if you need a few names), books, social workers, and websites. Most importantly, through each other. Let's agree to share our struggles and to not let shame or feelings of inadequacy intimidate us into hiding our pain. As the church heeds the call to reach out and care for orphans by adoption, so should the church provide support. Dr. Purvis has developed a workbook based on her book for use by individuals, couples or small groups. This would be an excellent resource for churches to use with families who have adopted.
Empowered to Connect Conference will be in Nashville!
I just received an email with the information about this conference. I attended last year and it was great. I know I sound like a broken record about the book by Karen Purvis, The Connected Child, but it has been such an asset to me in understanding the reasons behind behaviors of Bobby's. Dr. Purvis' organization is putting on this conference and Show Hope is sponsoring it here in Nashville. Please check out the info, it is well worth your time.
Adopting an "older" child (non-infant) carries much stress and rewards are often delayed. Last week I heard about a Christian family in Ohio who adopted a 12 year old girl from China, had her for 6 months and said it wasn't working and placed her in the foster care system. She has been in foster care for 7 months now and an incredible friend of my sister has agreed to add this child to her family which consists of seven adopted girls ages 7 to 15! This family has a very limited income but a huge heart for hurting children.
It is such a tragedy when something like this happens to an adopted child. Thankfully, it is not common but it is devastating to a child and family when it does happen. I think more often, families just struggle silently. As I have been honest about our adjustment struggles, I've realized that this is the norm. And of course! Why should we expect a child who has grown up with multiple caregivers, inconsistent discipline and often abuse to not have struggles? When we agree to adopt we agree to learn our child's history so that we can go beyond surface behaviors. We agree to sacrifice our own convenience, expectations and desires in order to connect with our child and help them heal even if it takes years, not months.
Resources are available through counselors (ask me if you need a few names), books, social workers, and websites. Most importantly, through each other. Let's agree to share our struggles and to not let shame or feelings of inadequacy intimidate us into hiding our pain. As the church heeds the call to reach out and care for orphans by adoption, so should the church provide support. Dr. Purvis has developed a workbook based on her book for use by individuals, couples or small groups. This would be an excellent resource for churches to use with families who have adopted.
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